Parenting is an amazing and wondrous experience.  Yes, there are patches that test the best of us, but overall, the joys are many.  If you go to work every day focusing only on how hard the day is going to be, how overwhelmed and unprepared you feel, you are likely to have some pretty bad days at work.  If on the other hand, you spend time each day focusing on what you like about your job, what makes you feel empowered and joyful, work will be a much better place to be.  The same is true of parenting.  If we constantly focus on what is wrong, or what is stressful, it won't be much fun.  Some of my favorite parts of childrearing include:  watching hungry children delve in and eat with gusto; listening to squeals of glee; feeling that little hand on my arm and hearing the words, "I love you;" watching children laugh; playing board games together; searching for poorly hid children during a game of hide-n-seek; reading out loud; teaching new ideas; watching children play with pets; watching children unwrap gifts; finding an unexpected visitor in my bed because of a bad dream; cooking together and making a mess; building something together that is a little lopsided; receiving a child's artwork; Halloween costumes; watching little fingers play a musical instrument.....  My list goes on and on.  What makes your list?  Let's not forget that we embarked on this journey for a reason.  There was a time that we waited with baited breath for our little bundle to arrive.  I've learned so much from the experience of parenting.  I wouldn't trade it.

We've talked about younger children going back to school, but we haven't really addressed the older kids returning to high school or college.  The ether stage of development is often frightening to parents who fear the consequences of youthful rebellion.  Stories of substance abuse and violence on campus worry us.  Teen movies depicting sexual conquests make us uneasy.  Staying involved with our children at this stage is very important.  This is not a time to back off and just wait and see.  This is a time to stay engaged and connected, supporting our children in their need for intellectual stimulation and exploration.  Ether energy can be intense, elusive and explosive if it is met with too much airy lecturing or fiery resistance.  Connect with your child around the issues they are passionate about.  Listen.  Have the party at your house, organize a political rally around an issue that your child and their friends feel strongly about, engage in youth group activities at church.  If your child is attracted to the exploration of altered states of consciousness through alcohol or drugs, suggest ways of exploring in other ways that might include: various types of meditation practices, martial arts, high adrenaline sports activities, self-actualization therapies, etc.  Our ability to remain confident and our willingness to trust, goes a long way.  Remember that this stage is merely the last in a series of stages that contribute to making your child a well-grounded, feeling, connected, creative, expressive, intelligent and reasonable individual.

Matthew sits on the floor of the living room filling his backpack with school supplies.  He can't believe that the summer is already over.  "Why is it that summer time goes by so quickly and the school year goes by so slowly," he wonders?  He feels a little excited as he heads for his classroom the next day.  He's kept in touch with most of his buddies over the summer, but there are a few that he hasn't seen since last year.  The teacher talks about what they will be studying this year, but Matt doesn't really pay attention.  He's too busy making his dodge ball team selections for recess.  He can't wait!  After school, Matt tears out of the classroom, forgetting all of the papers sitting on his desk.  He is supposed to take them home for his parents to sign, but he forgets in his mad dash for the bus.  He has to hurry if he hopes to claim the primo seat before anyone else.  When Matt arrives home, his mom asks him about his day.  She is sincerely interested and feels disappointed when he answers in noncommittal grunts.  Feeling edgy and hyped up, Matt can't concentrate on conversation right now.  Shifting his weight from one foot to the other, he waits impatiently for permission to go outside and play.  Matt’s mom will have a more successful conversation with him if she waits until mealtime or bedtime.  He needs time to discharge stress through physical play and exertion right after school.  Then, relieved of the pressures of the day, having blown off some steam, Matt will be able to re-connect with mom and participate in a two-way conversation. 

Welcome to a day in the life of a child in the fire stage of development.  The focus of this stage is: independence, peer interaction, creativity through action, collaborating and competing.  During the elementary school years, a learning environment that concentrates on providing group learning activities and hands-on creative outlets will be highly successful.  Children do best when they can use their natural need to collaborate and compete.  Autonomy fosters independence, and independence promotes high self- esteem.  This stage does not respond well to teaching styles based on lecturing, work sheets and testing.  Children in this stage need creative outlets and lots of time for socialization.  Group projects that are collaborative and/or competitive help satisfy both of these needs.  Freedom to think outside the box and express creative genius will inspire and instill a love of learning.  This stage is not for the faint of heart, but for those willing to engage,  it is oh so rewarding!