Jamie could hardly sit still in her seat.  Today was the last day of school and she couldn't wait to get home.  She and Anne had already made plans for an "overnight" this weekend to celebrate.  She talked non-stop in the car.  As she chatted incessantly about staying up late, no homework and all the social plans she had made for the summer, mom became nervous.  Was now the time to tell Jamie about summer camp and the music classes?  No, better to wait and discuss it at dinner, as a family. 

Chris got into the car after school and sat mutely staring out the window.  "So how was your last day of school?" mom asked cheerfully.  No response.  She worried about Chris.  He'd been bored at school all year and even though she knew he was glad to be out, she was concerned that he would be bored at home as well.  "He needs social outlets," she thought to herself.  "I wonder if I should sign him up for something?" 

Two different families, two very different kids. One of the ways to avoid disappointment over summer plans is to make sure to involve your children in the planning process.  A child who is quiet, introverted and "earthy" by nature may feel overwhelmed at the thought of  a three-week acting class.  Just as a child who is artistic and chatty may not enjoy attending a rigorous sports camp.  Introducing your children to new experiences, while honoring who they inherently are can be tricky.  If you use your powers of observation to help define who your child is energetically, however, you will find it much easier to make those hard summer decisions. 

And while we are on the subject of transitions.....  Be sure to arrange the summer so your child has some free time between school and summer camp.  Everyone needs the freedom to relax, sleep, play and "just be."  If you plan transition time both at the beginning of the summer and at the end, your child will adjust much more easily to their new schedules and activities.

Life can be messy.  Even armed with the best of intentions and the latest thoughts on  parenting or teaching, we all make mistakes.  In  my life, "do overs" are expected.  Better to admit that you blew it, ask for forgiveness and then try it again, then to ignore or defend an obvious blunder.  It's not enough to mumble "I'm sorry" while you retreat to the opposite side of the room.  Stand in the middle of the mess, take an inventory of the casualties and then start over. 

Humor and exaggeration work wonders.  If you can laugh at yourself, you will help your children learn not to take themselves too seriously.  It takes courage to admit you are wrong even when it is uncomfortable or embarrassing.  After raising my voice over a spilled drink, I've had to stop myself, breathe and then say, "Wait.  I need a 'do over'.  Can I have another chance?"  I then use this opportunity to model what I should have said or done in an exaggerated way, as if I am a caricature.  Worry or tears quickly turn to giggles.  We laugh at ourselves, do it the "right" way and move on.   A temper that flares in the classroom, at the store or in front of friends need not be humiliating.  Use the moment instead.  Dare to admit when you are wrong and you will inspire others to do the same.

 The people around us provide us with clues about who they are on a daily basis.  Take computer screensavers, for example.  We are a family with several computers.  My twelve year old son, who is very airy by nature, changes the screensaver/wallpaper on his computer 4 or 5 times a week.  I am never sure what I will see.  It changes randomly.  No pattern, no specific reason, it just changes.  My oldest son, who is 23, makes changes based on his latest interest or "kick," as I call it.  Since he is passionate about a certain make of car right now, every picture reflects this interest.  My computer screensaver doesn't change all that often, but when it does, it most certainly reflects my inner world and usually has some deep or esoteric meaning to me.  Some of those down to earth types never change their screensavers.  It is the same and will remain the same, of that you can be sure.  I have friends who change theirs depending on what's "in or new."  If there is a new fad or something especially "artsy," they are sure to have it.  Understanding what energizes and excites those around you is easy, if you just take the time to notice.  It doesn't have to be difficult.  You don't have to have some sophisticated understanding of energy in order to interpret the world.  All you need is some time spent in observation. 

Mark sits at his desk punching holes in a sheet of lined paper with his pencil.  He flicks the little resultant scraps of paper onto the floor creating a blizzard around his desk.  Jesse jumps up from his desk every 7 minutes to get a drink, sharpen his pencil, whisper to someone or stand at the window.  Sarah doodles cartoons, giggling to herself as the characters emerge.  Rachel reads her book while absentmindedly playing with her hair.  Josh hides a sheet of paper in his book with mathematical figures scrawled on it.  Every few moments he glances at the figures, a most serious look on his face.  The teacher, Ms. Peterson, stands to the right of the classroom door, creating a new bulletin board.  This is reading time in Grade 5. 

Mark has been scolded several times already this morning, and threatened with a loss of recess if he doesn't buckle down and get on task.  Jesse startles, as Ms. Peterson loudly clears her throat.  Meeting her gaze he pulls himself away from the window and back to his desk.  Pausing in her task, Ms. Peterson walks across the room to Sarah's desk and quietly slips the cartoon  into her pocket.  She ignores Josh even though she knows he's figuring out currency conversions to his latest computer role playing game. 

Each of these children is engaged in a process of learning that has nothing to do with the assignment at hand.  Mark loves to manipulate materials.  He is quite bright, mechanical and analytical.  He understands that everything constantly changes form.  He loves to experiment with various interventions that produce change.  Playing with the paper for him is really much more than that.  Jesse is articulate, fast moving and an observer.  He knows what each student is doing in the classroom and what each one is feeling.  He figured out within the first 5 minutes of entering the class that Ms. Peterson was not feeling well today and has been especially thoughtful as a result.  Rachel loves to read and has a very rich imagination.  Reading for her is as much about escape as information.  Sarah is creative and sensitive and uses her art to communicate what she knows to be true.  Josh, pragmatic and motivated is the banker of tomorrow.  He has already figured out the theme of the story they were assigned, can guess at the ending, so finds no need to actually read the entire story.  A classroom filled with non-compliant and disruptive children or a class filled with the geniuses of tomorrow?