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Saturday, May 26, 2007
BurdensI recently met
a boy who I'll call Jason. Jason was a very sweet soul. His eyes captured me from the moment we met.
They were a deep liquid brown and actually looked as if they were about to overflow at any moment. The entire time that we
were together, Jason was the epitome of politeness, laughing at everything I said, constantly smiling. In an attempt
to get to know him better, I began asking Jason about his interests. I went down the list of most common games and hobbies
for a boy his age and asked if he enjoyed doing any of these things. "No, I'm not allowed to do that,"
he would chuckle. A phrase that became very familiar during our visit. I offered Jason a soda and was told, "Thanks,
but I'm not allowed to have soda. Water's fine." We began to work with clay and Jason immediately
asked me if it was "natural," as he's not allowed to work with chemicals or artificially made materials.
I felt my own chest tightening and my anxiety increasing as I began worrying about what we were going to do next and whether
it was something that Jason was allowed to do. I began to understand what a burden Jason was carrying. The joys
of childhood didn't exist for him as life was one barrier or restriction after another. Over time, we both relaxed
and we actually did find some fun things to do together. I could see that energetically, Jason was in trouble.
The foundational energy of earth was blocked and brick hard. The effusive and cleansing energy of water was frozen into
sheets of ice. His fire energy ebbed so low I could barely palpate it. The higher energies of air and ether were
unfocused and chaotic, tossing him about, making it impossible for him to have a sense of internal self-control. I'm
confident that over time, Jason will be able to move forward. I was, however, reminded once again that the business
of parenting cannot be so serious. For if we saddle our children with too many restrictions and fears, they won't
be prepared to enjoy and savor this journey we call "life."
Sat, May 26, 2007 | link
Friday, May 25, 2007
BalanceI spoke in an earlier
blog about energetic parenting styles. Even though each of us has a primary energy type through which we filter our
life experience, as parents, we aspire to strike a healthy balance. Observation is key. If your nine year old
is whiny and out of sorts, a careful examination will help you determine exactly what is needed. It may be that they
need to eat, sleep or feel nurtured (earth needs); they may need some time for connection with you or they may need help sorting
out strong emotions (water needs); they may need help channeling some of their anger or creativity through an activity, or
may need to spend some time playing with peers (fire needs). Through observation you can detect whether your child seems
out of sorts and stuck (earth), agitated and active without being able to really express what they need, lonely (water), angry,
sullen or hyper (fire), withdrawn, mute, dramatic (air), argumentative, debating and egotistical (ether). Once the detective
work is done you can help your child identify what it is they feel, what they need and what to do about it. In
doing so, you are honoring all the elements and your entire child.
Fri, May 25, 2007 | link
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